How To Catch Your Son's Birthday Present
by limyth
Summary: Because Gon had specifically asked for a certain someone as his birthday present and Ging wasn't allowed to say no. The experience proved just how little the man knew about children. Scratch that. Ging had no way with children. At all. Implied Shounen-ai.
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: **I do not own Hunter X Hunter.

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**How To Catch Your Son's Birthday Present**

**Chapter 1**

'Brat' was the first word that came to mind the moment Ging laid eyes on his sons one and only best friend. With the way he stood tall and proud a step in front of his companion, and the way the bored expression in his face clearly said 'I know you've been following this whole time now what do you want'...Yeah...He was most definitely a brat.

He silently compared all the things his son had said to him ever since they'd started traveling together. There was the messy white hair he'd mentioned a little longer than how Gon had described. The pale skin and somehow deceptively frail overall appearance if you didn't count the the cocky way he stood that was more than backed up by a tinge of danger. Check to the color Gon had mentioned that the other would most likely be wearing...uncheck to everything else he'd heard that by the looks of it, were most likely not true.

Ging couldn't see how a brat like that was smart and funny, loyal and friendly and the 'best-est best friend' his son could ever have in the world.

He also absently noted that he maybe just be about as tall as his son, not counting the spiky black hair that made the other deceptively taller, while he stood there in front of the kid who was taking his time in giving him a once over. Gon had said the brat had been taller by a few inches before. When the blue eyes were done and the kid slightly relaxed his stance, Ging found himself staring right at the other. They were five feet away.

"Aren't you supposed to be traveling with Gon?" The brat asked and unconsciously patted the little girl beside him who giggled in delight.

_The right question is if __**Gon**__ is still traveling with __**me**__ but whatever_, Ging shrugged, dismissed the fact that the brat knew him without even asking, and went right down to business. "Do you know when Gon's birthday is?" He asked back. The brat rolled his eyes.

_Brat._

"It's in a week. I sent our present two days ago." He gestured to the girl beside him with the softest look in his eyes, then gave Ging an accusing deadpan expression. "Aren't you supposed to know what he want by now?" He asked dismissively and pocketed his hands.

_...Definitely a brat_, Ging thought. Cause really, he _did_ know what his kid wanted. Or more specifically _who_ he wanted as his birthday. He'd known ever since the third day they'd traveled together after Gon had been talking about Killua Killua Killua nonstop for the duration of their stay in that tiny town with the giant tree. They'd been there for a week and a _half_. And casually saying "I want you to bring Killua on my birthday" was just like saying "I want Killua to be my birthday present". Only more subtle...in a sense.

That had been one week ago, and Ging had to give the brat some credit for being able to outrun him that long.

Actually, the only reason he caught up was because the brat had decided to stop and see who it was that was following him. Now here they were standing just a little outside of Dolle Harbor. Ging could see a familiar small hut up ahead. For now though, he had to get back to the task at hand. How was he suppose to get the brat to come with him again? Ging scratched at his head and went to ask the question directly.

"Gon said he wanted you to come to his birthday." Ging said. The little girl shifted with a light giggle and clutched at the brats shoulder.

"I heard from the TV person that you're not supposed to talk to strangers. What does Oni-chan think?" The girl supplied, all smiles and sunshine. She was most likely the sister Gon mentioned a few times, though not in great detail. The brat seemed to be thinking something disturbing because he was scrunching his face. Ging caught the grouchily grumbled words of his Aniki teaching him to kill the strangers who tried to talk to him.

"Um. He's Gon's dad see? So he isn't exactly a stranger..." The brat said. "Anyway, I promised Alluka we'd visit the Kiriko to say hi. We already had to postpone this trip cause we were forced to run around in circles since we were being chased." This one was pointedly directed at Ging. "We'll still come of course. Just tell me where you guys are staying and we'll be there in three days. See ya." The brat turned and waved before ushering his younger sister with him to the Hut.

That was no good.

"You have to come with me." Ging said, but then paused and scratched his head. "Acutally, Gon said I had to bring you to him." He made a face. _Since when was he his sons delivery man? Actually, since when was Gon so manipulative? _He thought and glanced at the brat who was now sporting an annoyingly cheeky grin.

_Brat._

"Really~?" He drawled. "I'll be coming over since it's what Gon wants. But I'm not going anywhere with you- o-oi, Alluka." The brat suddenly said when the girl started skipping her way to his direction. He tried to grab for her but didn't put to much effort in the action. Ging was pretty sure it wasn't a feet to do. Well, not for the brat. The girl stopped walking when she was directly in front of him. And the sparkly, expectant look in her eyes was making _his _eyes hurt.

"Hey mister, whats your name?"

Ging shrugged his sholders and answered. "It's Ging."

"Alluka-"

"Tell me about the stuff Gon has been saying about Oni-chan!" The little girl suddenly interrupted and started to jamp in excitement. Since the girls interference seemed to have disrupted the brats' composure (the brat was looking really uneasy now), Ging went along and said the first thing that came to his mind.

"Well, Gon said they both always took baths together..."

"Wh-_Hey_!"

"And that they were almost never separated after they'd become close." Ging said and listed out a few more things like this and that that caused the brat to stutter and turned red.

"Th-that idiot! Just how much did he tell you?!" The brat said indignantly and pointed an accusing finger at him. The girl was laughing delightedly in the background, and he shrugged.

"Just about everything I think." Ging said absentmindedly.

That's when he remembered something and brought a fist down on his other palm. He purposefully ignored the brat and looked at his sister instead.

"Oh yeah. We also went to the Kiriko eight months ago..." Ging started. "They were talking for ages. I'm pretty sure the Kiriko mention something about a kid named Killua passing by to take the Hunter Exam." He glanced down at the tomato red and utterly embarrassed brat and broke into his own grin. "They said you had Gons scent on you. Did you know that that only happens when-" Ging stopped when he suddenly found himself talking to thin air. The girl besode her who was there a second ago was gone too.

"Ging-saaaan!" He turned around when he found the brat and the girl nearly a _mountain_ away from him. The girl was waving her hand to get his attention. Ging whistled.

_Impressive._

_For a __**brat**__._

"Thanks for telling me! But you know, if you really wanted Oni-chan to come with you, you should've just gone for chocolate!" The girl said and...just waved. Then they both disappeared.

Ging was left to scratch at his head since he only just remembered he was supposed to be bringing the brat with him and not scaring him away. And the candy...why didn't he think of that?

_Well shit...back to phase one, _Ging thought.

_That __**brat**__._

**TBC?**

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**A/N:** Awkward much? Yeah, I don't think Killua and Ging would get along at all.


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer: **I do not own Hunter X Hunter.

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**How To Catch Your Son's Birthday Present**

**Chapter 2**

Killua couldn't see how in the world he had been able to meet not only one, but_ two_ absolutely _shameless_ people in one lifetime and not _die_ from humiliation. It didn't help that after seven days of nearly non-stop running and trying to escape, one of those two people were still hot on his heels.

"Will you give me a break already? I already told you Gon wants you for his birthday!" The man said from somewhere a few feet behind him and Killua tripped on his own feet. He caught himself fast enough to not make the distance between them shorter. It didn't stop him from turning red with embarrassment.

_Again._

"Are you an _idiot_?! Don't you even know how that sounds like when you say it like that?!" He yelled at the top of his lungs. Oh wasn't he glad he was facing away from the bast-_man_. I swear, if I turn around and find him with even a hint of a smug expression on his face-

"Huh? What sounds like that? Hey Oni-chan, what do you mean by sounds like that?" Ughh! Killua heaved and ran faster.

That man should be damn well happy he was no one less than his best friends father. Why else would he be running away and not killing the man for being a persistent and utterly shameless assh-_man_!

Seven days. He'd been running around almost non-stop for seven days! Killua was pretty sure of his abilities when it all came down to it. Taking out the needle Illumi had planted in his head had helped a lot. And the fight with the chimera ants, even more. He had had also been a diligent student ever since the day he'd learned nen. Never skipping daily training unless something dire or dangerous or alarming or when something plain and downright _annoying_ happened during there travels. And having to run around with almost no rest for seven days straight and with someone he could _not_ kill spouting out the most embarrassing things his way was just _pushing it._

He could still remember all the places he'd been to, how long he'd been there and how many times he'd stopped by just in order to try and loose the guy. _He_, Killua heaved. _Is Gon's __**father**__. I can't kill him no matter how much I want to_, Killua thought and tried to think of other less stressful thoughts to distract himself.

Lesse.

From Dolle Harbor he had gone straight back to NGL, bulleted him and Alluka both to the Republic of East Gorteau in Peijin, then made a beeline for Meteor City. They also went to the Republic of _West_ Gorteau, the Hass Republic, Yorknew City, and a couple more he could no longer name. All in the span of seven day and traveling on foot. He'd lost count of the number of stores he had to steel from to get Alluka something to eat and drink and nearly lost count of the number of times they'd nearly gotten caught all because he couldn't deny his adorable little sister of what she wanted. He never did hold any form of ire or resentment when it came to her.

She was an exception. It was all _his_ fault.

_And_ Gons. Well, mostly Gons for getting him into the situation. Killua was going to give him an earful the moment they met. After he ate and slept and had the time to take a long _long _shower just to get rid of all the aches that were slowly getting harder and harder to ignore. His clothes were already so drenched in sweat that it was a wonder why Alluka hadn't yet started to complain. Heck, _he_ wondered why he hadn't already dropped down and died yet. From the exhaustion or the embarrassment, he couldn't tell. Maybe both.

Well, whichever it was, Killua was starting to run out of juice. So since he had already been to all the other places and since _that_ area was already closer than he had ever wanted to be, he decided to go to the one place he hated the most.

Republic of Padokia in the Dentora Region. Home to Kukuroo Mountain.

Killua made sure to stay as far away as possible from the direct area surrounding his house of course. But that didn't matter much since the first thing that happen as soon as he was able to set a foot in the farthest town possible was to be tackled to the ground by a pair of very familiar arms. Killua barely registered Alluka flying out of his arms and didn't see that bas-_hng_-_old man_ catch her. He didn't have the strength to stand up by himself anymore, so he just left himself there on the ground and tried to catch his breath.

"Killua! You're here!" He heard Gon say.

_Since when_, he sucked in a breath of air. S_ince when had Gon's voice been that deep?_ He absentmindedly thought and continued to breath heavily. Gon didn't seem to mind his silence and left him to his breathing. Instead, the other boy shifted them both into a sitting position and held him in place.

"Hi Alluka how have you been? Geez Killua, your soaking wet. And Ging! You said you'd get him here yesterday! That's a day outside your calculations! Hah! I win the bet!" Gon said as hyper-actively as Killua remembered him to be with that same giant grin and-

_What? Wait a minute, what calculations?!_

Beside them, Ging set Alluka down on the ground, ran a hand through his sweaty hair and grunted in something close to annoyance. Gon's grin brightened and the boy chuckled.

"Bet you couldn't catch him either even when you tried." Ging grunted again. This time Killua hit him on the head. "Ow! Killua. What was that for?" Gon whined and rubbed at the area.

And Killua? He glared at the _younger_, _**shameless**_ offender and started pinching his cheeks apart.

"What's this about calculations huh? And about not just _one_ but _two_ bets _huh_? _And what's this about me being your present __**huh**_?!" He pinched at Gons face mercilessly. Gon grabbed at his wrists but didn't put too much effort into prying them off. He would've been able to with little effort.

"Owowow, Killua don't be mad. It's just that Ging has this tendency of predicting things before they happen. He's only gotten a few wrong so far, so I told him that I bet he wouldn't be able to predict your actions completely. He said he'd be able to get you here a day before my birthday but its my birthday today and he lost!" Gon laughed. "He probably didn't know you have the tendency of thinking illogically when your annoyed, frustrated or in danger-" Was the idiot insulting him now?! "Oh, and the second bet was about speed. I bet that you were faster than him, so he never would be able to catch you. I'm right of course!" Gon finished proudly and Killua was left there gaping like a fish.

_T-this guy-_

Killua never got to finish that thought because then Gon was suddenly hauling him to his feet. They gave out from the suddenness of the action, but Gon was quick to grab him and steady him on his feet. Gon beamed.

"Ging! Thanks for bringing him! I Like the chocolates you guys sent by the way" Gon said almost as an after thought. "But I still like Killua best!" He finished and was grinning all over again. And Killua was going tomato red all over.

_Again._

"I-idiot! Stop saying embarrassing things already! And I am not your present do you hear me!" Killua said. Gon stared to whine.

"But Killua, I want you to be. Can't you be mine just for today?" He turned to his sister completely ignoring his protest. "Hey Alluka, you wouldn't mind would you?" _This guy_...Killua's face felt like it was on fire and he gritted his teeth. Yeah, he was definitely gonna die of embarrassment first. And to make things worst-

"It's fine!" Alluka chirped. "You can have him as much as you want! Only for today though, 'kay?" _Gahhhh!_ Killua wanted to disappear. He was surrounded by either _shameless_ or _clueless_ people. No he was surrounded by _two_ shameless people and _two_ clueless people all at the same time. It was just too much!

So when Gon went his typical "Osu!", Ging went all smug and knowing, and Alluka started to laugh along with them, Killua went for the most logical conclusion and tried to make a run for it.

_Again._

"Wait! Killua, you're going the wrong way. Come on!" Gon grabbed at his wrist and started dragging him in the other direction. By then Killua was too tired to even so much as protest. He almost didn't hear Gon call out to his old man and say "Ging! Take care of Alluka for today okay?" He felt Gon tug on his wrist again and he dragged his feet to follow the other.

"First things first though. I know you hate it here so we're going to take an airship to Yorknew and have some fun over there. Ging will bring Alluka with him on a separate airship so they won't be too far away okay? And I already made sure Ging would take good care of her- Hey Killua, am I taller than you now?" Gon grinned and Killua grunted.

"Your hair's the only thing that's making you look taller. Shut up." _God_ he just wanted to sleep.

And going back to both Ging and Alluka.

"Hey mister, will you hold my hand?" Alluka asked joyfully and extended her hand. Ging looked at it for a long moment and shrugged his shoulder. He reached for the hand.

"Sure."

...

...

"Hey mister?"

"...Yeah?"

"Will you tell me more about my Oni-chan?"

...

...Shrug.

"Sure."

Yeah, Ging had no way with children.

_At all._

_**END/TBC?**_

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**A/N: **And that's a wrap...maybe? I think it's a proper ending...maybe? And yes, the conversation by the end can be taken exactly the way you think. That's how Killua understood it anyway, lol. Thanks all for reading!

Special thanks to reviewers **lovepeaceicecream****, ****Metabijumking****, ****SpadePirates4Eva****, ****Latias876****, ****Iris, and ****Butterfree****. **Your review, favs and alerts are much appreciated!


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